Did Kalonzo Musyoka belittle himself in front of the Kamba community and Kenyans at his father’s funeral when he declared that he is now going to become Uhuru Kenyatta’s errand boy? This is the question in the mouths of Kambas and Kenyans as they wonder whether it is appropriate anymore for them to follow mtu wa mkono as Kalonzo shamelessly called himself or as they call them in Ukambani “kunda ngutume” (drink I send you). This in reference to those hopeless characters who are bought alcohol before being sent on dirty assignments.
For one who has been a vice president of the republic, many feel that Kalonzo has sunk too low because a vice president is part of the presidency whereupon those who have occupied the position must always maintain a certain dignity on themselves.
To, therefore reduce himself to the level of now looking up on those in the presidency to bail him out is an insult to not only the presidency that he was once part of, but also to Kambas who consider him their supremo. If Kalonzo whom they call their leader is a mina ngutume, Kambas are asking, what are they supposed to be as his followers given that there is no lower status than a kunda ngutume?
Even for one desperate for a job, Kambas and Kenyans in general have agreed, Kalonzo did not have to lick Uhuru’s boots and this moreso, at the funeral of his father. It is against this background that many are accusing Kalonzo of capitalising on his old man’s death. If Mzee Peter Mairu Musyoka had not died, some say, it is unlikely that Kalonzo would now be working as Uhuru’s envoy to peace building in South Sudan as then there would have been no chance for him to beg for a job on sympathy credentials. It thus appears that Kalonzo took the death as a blessing in disguise, they say. Kambas reminded Kalonzo that there is a saying among Kambas that Kambas are ngya ng’endu (poor but dignified) with others saying that Kalonzo thus can not be a true Kamba.
The process of hiring Kalonzo was unlocked at the funeral this so that his first mission to Juba where he accompanied Foreign Affairs minister Monica Juma was done even before Kalonzo had received approval from Igad under which he was seconded to. But so impatient was Kalonzo that he hopped into the plane without any designation papers forcing others to introduce himself with word of mouth much to the bemusement of the hosts.
Incidentally, it had been claimed in the past few weeks that Kalonzo was trying to lobby for the job of Foreign Affairs portfolio which would have meant that Foreign Affairs minister Juma who happens to come from Kalonzo’s Mwingi area would have to be dropped.
Juma is said to be now somewhat unnerved by the new development especially when you consider that one of Kalonzo’s “demands” to Uhuru is that he should be the topmost Kamba in government if he is to strike a deal with Uhuru to back his government.
Should the Kalonzo-Uhuru handshake be taken beyond the elbow where Kalonzo desires, then Juma’s job would be snatched from her. Indeed, that there is already a small cold war going on between Kalonzo and Juma being illustrated by the fact that some people in Kalonzo’s office have been complaining that Juma is undermining Kalonzo and that is why over a week since Uhuru gave him the job, Kalonzo is yet to get the approval papers and job identification tags from Igad’s offices in Addis Ababa.
Those who know Kalonzo well have told Juma to be prepared for anything because Uhuru will start getting some nasty fitina. That Kalonzo saw a silver lining in the death of his father also being proved by the fact that he went to great lengths to praise Uhuru’s presence in the funeral explaining that ever since Uhuru confirmed his attendance, the hotels in Mwingi had become fully booked. “The death of my father has contributed to the growth of the economy in Mwingi,” Kalonzo said to the disbelief of mourners and those watching live on television. Since when, they asked, did money of whatever amount equal human life? From the way Kalonzo worshipped Uhuru, you would have been mistaken to imagine that Kalonzo’s father would not have been buried hadn’t it not been for what Kalonzo called Uhuru’s help.
To confirm to Uhuru that he had become the most ardent bootlicker South of Sahara and North of River Limpopo, Kalonzo ever the holier than thou even blamed others in advance should he fall out with Uhuru. “I will not allow anyone to make me be at odds with Uhuru and those who try that are the ones I am going to be at odds with first,” he said in apparent reference to Raila Odinga and Johnson Muthama specifically.
Those who say the message was meant for Muthama cite the fact that Raila is already working with Uhuru and so the idea of Raila coming between Uhuru and Kalonzo does not arise. On the other hand, Muthama has been opposed to the handshake between Uhuru and Raila and by extension the coming together of Uhuru and Kalonzo.
Because he presumes that Uhuru considers Muthama enemy, Kalonzo to please Uhuru went out of his way to prove to Uhuru that he also now considers Muthama an enemy. To the utter dismay of everyone including Uhuru himself, Kalonzo behaved as if Muthama was not at the funeral and did not even as little as acknowledge Muthama’s presence with a mention let alone asking Muthama to speak. Yet this is the man who has spent hundreds of millions on Kalonzo’s political campaigns. Ironically, Kalonzo invited James Orengo to speak as well as minnows like MP Robert Mbui of Kathiani.
Shame of shames Kalonzo even acknowledged Wavinya Ndeti making people wonder if there is truth in a speculation that there could be more than just politics going on between Kalonzo and Wavinya who now do not part day and night.
Because a funeral is a place where all forgive each other for whatever transgressions and disagreements, many were left wondering what kind of god Kalonzo worships that does not allow forgiveness even at such an occasion where everyone is reminded to do only good because our stay on this earth is but a blink of the eye.
Apart from using the opportunity to please Uhuru, those in the know say Kalonzo was also using the occasion to revenge against Muthama who had in the last three elections been forcing Kalonzo to follow Kambas against Kalonzo’s wish.
In 2013, Kalonzo was forced by circumstances to follow Kambas and Muthama to the Cord coalition although all along, Kalonzo had wanted to follow Uhuru. In 2017, Kalonzo did not want to contest for the presidency, and wanted to go to Jubilee but once again, Muthama pushed him to Nasa.
Indeed, it has been said that whenever Kalonzo meets Uhuru, he lays blame for not supporting Uhuru on Muthama. It was thus a golden chance for Kalonzo to prove the point to Uhuru that Muthama is worse enemy to him than Muthama is to Uhuru. Not even Uhuru would refuse to acknowledge Muthama were he in Kalonzo’s shoes, Uhuru’s confidants were heard saying as they took beer that eventful Friday night. Such behaviour by Kalonzo, they said Uhuru and the rest should be warned, shows that Kalonzo has no friend and that he could treat anyone the same way he treated Muthama if that became necessary.
It is worth noting that Muthama gave Kalonzo Sh300,000 towards the funeral arrangements. Uhuru gave Sh10 million while Ruto gave Sh2 million amongst other generous donations. There were 18 helicopters in the funeral one which flew Muthama in.
Because Kalonzo has been desperately looking for a job, Kambas said, it is good that he has landed one except that he will now kiss goodbye to any of his presidential ambitions.
Makueni governor Kivutha Kibwana has already expressed his disappointment with Kalonzo’s choice of words and said that Kalonzo should at least called himself a Uhuru adviser and not a kunda ngutume. According to Kibwana, Kambas had in the last two elections wanted Kalonzo to go to Jubilee.
For waiting too long to support Jubilee, Kalonzo’s value to Jubilee is zero because when Uhuru and William Ruto needed him most, Kalonzo turned them down.